Just Shoot Me
by acegreatprank
Summary: "I did not envision spending my day off in a mall. This is what you get for suggesting a meeting between our younger sisters." Fang and Lightning tag along on a shopping trip. First of a series of drabbles involving the FF XIII gang, mostly starring Fang, with the occasional Lightning and sprinkles of Vanille.
1. Shopping Mall Blues

Just a series of drabbles I decided to start in order to get more accustomed to writing again. Mostly Fang X Lightning interactions.

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**Shopping Mall Blues**

"This is not how I envisioned spending my day off."

"Really Light? I would've thought you'd have been jumping for joy at the chance to act as a pack mule."

Had it been any other day, Fang would have earned herself a faceful of gunblade for that remark but as it was, Lightning did not have the energy to threaten the former Pulsian even if her hands had been free to do so. With five bags hanging from either hand, it was all Lightning could do to keep blood circulating through her rapidly numbing fingers. She could not even find it in herself to feel irritated at Fang's sarcastic tone. As the day had worn on, her normally cheerful smirk had gradually shrunk to be replaced with the tired scowl that now adorned the tanned woman's face. Lightning found herself missing the cocky grins and teasing smiles, if only because it would mean they would be free and no longer undergoing this abominable ordeal. Raising a pale pink eyebrow, the off-duty sergeant gestured to the dozen bags dangling from Fang's shoulders and hands with a jerk of her chin.

"You look much more like a pack mule than I do. Don't snipe at me. None of this is my fault."

Fang ducked her dark head and mumbled an apology. Looking up again, exhausted green met tired blue as the indomitable lieutenant and invincible tribeswoman sighed in unison as they continued trudging after their slave drivers.

Oblivious to older companions' misery, Vanille tugged Serah towards yet another shoe store. As delighted squeals and exclamations of joy drifted out, Lightning could have sworn Fang looked like she wanted to cry.

_This is what you get for suggesting a meeting between our younger sisters._


	2. Sprint

This was not a simple comparison of Fang and Vanille's physical prowess. Both were extremely capable individuals, their toned bodies a testament to constant exercise and awe inspiring levels of athleticism. Years of training together meant that Fang knew how agile Vanille was and how quick she could be. Sure, Fang usually won their races. Longer legs were a slight advantage in sprints through long grass after all. But Vanille always put up a good fight and after the pubescent growth spurt, the once tiny little girl started to close the distance between them and even won on occasion.

But this! This was ridiculous! Fang couldn't keep up with Vanille. At all. She was yards ahead and Fang just could not see any way of catching up to her anytime soon. Up ahead, Vanille could be heard giggling and giving out the occasional whoop of joy. Sazh, Hope and Snow were cheering heartily for her at the finishing line and Fang could practically see her pride crumbling as Vanille sped up even more. Blowing dark strands away from her face, she forced her legs to move faster even as her lungs started to burn.

Giving Vanille a shopping cart to ride on was definitely too much of an advantage.


	3. Bar Crawl

**Bar Crawl**

Truth be told, Fang always imagined that their current roles would be reversed. Here she was, the disgruntled one scowling at the late night visitor who stood upon her doorstep whilst Lightning was the one who'd been ringing her doorbell incessantly, forcing Fang out of bed to see what was the matter.

"It's 2 AM Lightning, what the hell do you want?"

Gods, that growl. It was way too late at night, Lightning was feeling extremely stressed out and all she wanted was to be home and asleep in her own bed. She had to go to work in 4 hours for Etro's sake! She almost managed to stop herself from mentally saving the image of Fang clad only in boy shorts and a tank top. Almost. As a quick afterthought, the growl was added to the memory.

"Exactly. It's late and Serah still isn't home. She's not answering any of my messages or calls either. I know she spent the day with Vanille, so where is she?"

Blue eyes glared into sleepy green. The sharpness of Lightning's look did nothing to stop Fang's yawn as she answered with a dismissive wave of her hand.

"I don't know. They came over around 5 to drop off all their shopping. Then the two of them left again, Vanille was saying something about Ladies' Night at some bar. Since you're here, you might as well take Serah's stuff home with you. It's cluttering up my couch."

The door then opened wide as Fang walked into the house, intent on shoving a bunch of shopping bags into Lightning's arms before going back to her, hopefully still warm, bed. Unfortunately, the overly protective Farron had other plans.

"How can you be so flippant about this whole situation? Serah is probably passed out at some seedy pub with unsavoury characters doing who knows what to her! I have to find her. Now! Tell me where they went!"

"Woah, woah. Calm the hell down Light. Vanille's with her and there's no way she'd let Serah drink that much or leave her alone. They're just out having a good time, so why don't you stop worrying and go home. Look, I'll call Vanille's phone for you. She'll reassure you alright?"

That plan did nothing to assuage Lightning's worries when a five minute hunt through the dozens of bags piled on the couch produced Vanille's cell phone, merrily blasting the Chocobo Theme Tune. Fang still wasn't overly worried, Vanille could certainly take care of herself after all. Unfortunately, she failed to convince Lightning of that, or that Serah was a responsible grown woman as well and capable enough to handle any situation. Sure that Lightning would simply grab a gunblade and take to the streets, terrifying everyone out having a good time in her pursuit of Serah, Fang did the only logical thing she could think of. She said goodbye to her now cold bed and volunteered to help Lightning look.

The end result was Fang and Lightning visiting every pub, bar and club in the Bodhum area in order to track down their missing siblings. In the process, Fang got hit on five times, Lightning was propositioned seven times, Fang gave her number to three lucky ladies, Lightning broke the noses of five men and they were kicked out of seventeen establishments. It tooke them a little over 2 and a half hours, but they finally located their wayward sisters, sipping cocktails as they merrily plotted ways to get Fang and Lightning to go out on a date.

Lebreau was happily egging them on. If only they had thought to check her bar first.


	4. New Clothes

She didn't like her new clothes. There was a sort of synthetic smell to them, nothing like the how the woven threads of her sari smelt. They were stretchy too, and clung to her body in a way that made breathing feel strange. She'd thoroughly annoyed Vanille after being forced into her new purchases. It took almost an hour of griping, whinging and complaining about how the outfit was tight, and didn't smell right, and was too soft, and itchy, and didn't let her breathe, even complaining about the colours before her younger sister snapped. And snap she did.

"Get out, Fang! The shirt is black and the pants are blue. Those are the same damn colours you always wear. They're soft and comfortable and they cost me way too much money. You want them to smell 'right'? Get out, go run around, make a mess and then they'll smell like you!"

Before Fang could even open her mouth to make any sort of comeback, she found herself pushed out of their apartment and the door slammed in her face. She'd done it; she'd pissed Vanille off royally. Nothing for it but to find some way to make it up to her.

And so it came to be that three hours later, Oerba Yun Fang timidly knocked on the door of her own apartment, in order to present the biggest bouquet of flowers the world had ever seen to her sister. When still confronted with a frown and a pout, a box holding Vanille's favourite chocolate mousse tart was accompanied by a sheepish

"Sorry. Thank you for the clothes."

As she was let back into the house, Fang let a small smile appear on her face. The clothes might take a little getting used to but she'd do anything to keep Vanille happy. Also, the appreciative looks and half dozen new phone numbers she'd gotten during her walk through town certainly helped the change in opinion.

_I look good._


	5. How the Pro's do it

"But it didn't make sense! The way he was holding his knife when he blocked that attack, totally should've sliced his arm open. The fight choreographer needs to watch some Rorouni Kenshin; learn what happens with reverse blade edges."

"That's right. Holding a knife with a reverse grip can be useful, but not if you aim the sharp edge towards your self. It's supposed to deter people from grabbing your arm! Not be completely impractical and simply make you cut yourself no matter what move you make."

"Shhhh... I get it sis, it was a stupid move and the actor probably didn't know any better. But that fight scene was over 20 minutes ago so could you and Fang stop discussing it already? Please? I'm trying to enjoy the movie."

As proud as Serah was that he'd stood up to her older sister, Snow had to admit he was expecting a punch. That didn't happen, but what did happen next was not much better. Poor Snow; he never did find out how the movie ended (the heroine killed the villain and drove into the sunset with the hero, duh) as they were summarily kicked out of the theatre within ten minutes of him saying that. Fang had noticed Lightning glaring at him and with a sly smirk had proceeded to insult not only the fight choreography but also the car chase scene which had occured in the beginning of the film, the villain, the costumes and even the heroine's poor choice in boyfriend material. Vanille had joined in at the last point and her indignation was made clear with the ever increasing pitch of her voice.

So now here they were, walking back to their cars as Fang and Lightning continued to debate the various duelling mistakes they'd spotted in the movie. Vanille was talking Hope's ear off about how the lead actor was such a wimp and not in the least attractive. In hindsight, maybe they should have joined Sazh and Dajh's plan to watch the latest animated feature from Dreamworks.

But who knows how Lightning would react to soft and fluffy?

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**Many thanks to MasterPr0 for the suggestion. Hope I did justice to your idea! **


	6. Buttons and Zips

Fang did not like buttons.

They took too long to undo. Especially the small ones that currently adorned her dress shirt. Fang made a mental note to only buy clothes with reasonably sized buttons next time. The task of removing her shirt was taking forever, no doubt hindered by fingers numb with cold that kept fumbling the little ivory buttons even as her libido growled in frustration. They just had to take that walk around the lake after dinner, didn't they? It's romantic, Vanille had suggested. Curse romantic. Curse the lake. Curse the cold. Curse her forgotten gloves. Curse these bloody buttons!

Warm hands moved towards Fang's chest. Fingers previously clad in kid leather worked to open the black shirt, dextrously undoing buttons and slowly pushing it off tanned shoulders. But those long, slim fingers then removed themselves from Fang's torso, moving back instead to grasp at pink locks of hair before their owner turned their back on Fang.

Fang liked zips.

Zips were quick and simple. Fang's heart rate was rising, the quickened blood circulation driving more warmth into her limbs. With a smile she stepped forward, right hand reaching for the zip at the back of that gorgeous dress wrapped around Lightning. Grasping it between thumb and forefinger, she tugged it down to reveal a back paler than hers but no less muscled and firm. Calloused fingers heated up even more as they traced the planes of Lightning's back before moving to completely divest Lightning of her dress. From then on, the night was theirs and they gloried in the warmth of each other.

Yes, zips made everything simpler but as long as there was someone around willing to work on buttons for her, maybe Fang didn't mind buttons all that much. Especially two weeks later when the zipper on her pants got stuck halfway


End file.
